


Torchwood does Zoom

by BricklingGhost (TeamGwenee)



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crack, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Zoom Meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29314863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/BricklingGhost
Summary: As a result of the nationwide lockdown, the country has begun to do all their work from home whenever possible.Including Torchwood.
Relationships: Gwen Cooper & Owen Harper & Ianto Jones & Toshiko Sato, Hinted Toshiko Sato/Owen Harper, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Minor Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	Torchwood does Zoom

Ianto: The others should be joining us soon. How are you holding up?

Gwen: Had to do algebra with Anwen. She’s ten, since when did ten year olds have to do algebra? I wish Tosh had come to us to isolate.

Ianto: Owen says that Tosh dismantled the tv and the microwave yesterday. I don’t think working from home is suiting her. 

Gwen: Jack still keeping all the fun tech inside the Hub?

Ianto: The most dangerous tech.

Gwen: All one in the same

Ianto: Mother of two here folks.

Gwen: All children everywhere would agree that danger equals fun. 

Ianto: Did you and Jack have fun last night?

Gwen: Weevil chase in Splott. Took three down in the night, nearly got my throat ripped open twice, it felt so good to get out the house.

(Tosh and Owen join)

Ianto: And it doesn’t even count as your daily walk.  
Tosh: Did Jack let you into the Hub?

Gwen: No, he dropped me off home and took the Weevils back himself. At least he has some company now.

Owen: Surprised you aren’t shacking up with our valiant captain, Tea Boy. I bet you two wouldn’t have any trouble keeping busy locked down.

Ianto: It’s not worth risking bringing Covid into the Hub. With everything we keep in there, the last thing anyone needs is an alien mutation wiping out Cardiff. 

Gwen: If you want me to babysit the monitors for a night, let Jack stay over for longer, you only have to ask. 

Owen: You really want to spend the night watching a bunch of blinking monitors, sweating in a hazmat suit?

Gwen: I spent two hours begging, ordering and weeping for Anwen to start a Literacy worksheet that in the end took her five minutes to complete. It would be a holiday. 

Tosh: I wouldn’t mind wearing a suit if I could get back in the Hub. Or just go to the hairdressers. We have the suits on hand and we never use them, we might as well.

Ianto: Technically, suits are meant to be worn whenever we go down to the cells.

Tosh: What?

Gwen: Really?

Ianto: Due the potential risk of being exposed to toxic alien lifeforms, hazmat suits must be worn at all times. You’ve been working there for over a decade, haven’t you seen the signs?

Gwen: Maybe I noticed them once or twice. So when I caught you and Jack getting up to last January-

Ianto: Very forbidden. Adds to the fun. 

Tosh: Unless Jack made an exception in the rules for complete nudity.

Owen: Which he probably did. I just assumed it was one of those rules we had on paper but no one ever follows. Like taking the alien tech home;

Tosh: Or letting potentially hostile aliens into the hub.

Gwen: Or keeping Torchwood a secret from the general public.

Owen: No Gwen, we are meant to follow that one.

Tosh: Well, we do drive around Cardiff in a flashy SUV with Torchwood written on the side, Jack tells everyone he meets about the demonic fire squid he shagged;

Gwen: And our logo is on literally _everything_. 

(Team makes noises of agreement.)

Gwen: It took me a day after first hearing about you lot, a day, to get into your base, and I am still disgusted by how slow I was.

Ianto: No, fair point. Put that on the list of rules nobody bothers following. 

(Jack joins the meeting)

Owen: And the number one rule no one follows, doing what the boss tells us without question.

Jack: Gossiping about the boss? It better be dirty. 

Tosh: Anything coming up on the monitors Jack?

Jack: A spike about two hours ago, another at four thirty this morning. Both in Butetown. 

Gwen: Andy said there were two complaints in Butetown around those times, two different neighbours reporting two different households, swearing that they heard multiple voices screaming at each other. They thought someone was having an illegal gathering. Occupants of both houses found alone, dead, apparently by suicide. 

(children heard shouting and crying)

Gwen: Anwen, what’s going on?

Anwen (Off): Nothing.

Gwen: Then why is Alyn crying?

Anwen: It wasn’t me!

Gwen: Rhys, can you check on Alyn please?

Rhys: (off) I’m taking the bread out of the oven.

Tosh: Rhys is making bread?

Gwen: It’s quite good actually. (More crying) Can I?

Owen: _Please._

(Gwen goes to sort out her crying son.)

Owen: See Tosh? Some people take up baking to fill the time, and leave their roommate’s electronics and hair intact.

Tosh: I put both the microwave and the television to rights, and hair grows back. 

Jack: Tosh, can you pull up the police files of the suicides.

Tosh: Screen sharing now. 

(Two bodies with slashed open wrists sat in the bath appear on screen.)  
Ianto: Two suicides by wrist slitting, around the same time as a rift spike in the same location. Can’t be a coincidence. 

Owen: Zoom in on their necks. See, both have a scar, same length, looks like a healed burn.

Anwen: Who are all the dead people?

(Goes back to grid view)

Ianto: Anwen! What are you doing on your mum’s laptop?

Anwen: I wanted to say hi to Uncle Jack!

Jack: Hi Mischief!

Owen: Still playing favourites? You’d never think it was poor old Uncle Owen who delivered her, single handed, while explosions were set off city wide and we were barricaded against an army of blowfish armed with machetes. Bloody typical. 

Anwen: Uncle Jack got me a sonic scooter for my birthday. 

Tosh: Jealous Owen?

Owen: Hardly.

Jack: Hey Mischief, are you going to be a good girl for daddy when I take mummy out for work?

Anwen: Nope.

Jack: That’s my girl. 

Anwen: Can I come too? We’re allowed out once a day.

Ianto: You know your mum’s rules Anwen, no field work until you’re sixteen.

Anwen: But that’s so far away!

Tosh: When you’re back at school I can show you how to hack into your school’s database. We can change the canteen menu to whatever you like.

Anwen: Nuggets every day for a week?

Tosh: If you want.

(Gwen comes back on screen, toddler Alyn in her arms)  
Gwen: Anwen, what did I tell you about going on mum’s computer without her permission? You could have seen something inappropriate. 

(Anwen gets down to go.) 

Anwen: Don’t worry Mummy, Aunt Tosh took down the dead bodies the minute she realised I was looking.

(She leaves)

Gwen: Well that’s something. 

Jack: Right, picking you all up in twenty. Masks on everyone.

(They all put on matching face masks, each with the Torchwood logo emblazoned across.)  
Gwen: See, _see_?


End file.
